Taken For A Ride?
Always nice to hear from SFGirl:
Dear Working Girl,
It takes me 2 buses and a train to go a networking event once a month. There’s another person who works a few blocks over who I sometimes carpool with. But it always feels like forced charity. He replies at the very last minute before I have to catch the bus. And I have to ask every month. So I figure if I have to ask it probably means he’s not that interested. Does that sound right? In the past it wasn’t so awkward because his wife would ask, saying I helped her a lot when she was sick. We’re both volunteers in this networking organization.
Dear SFGirl,
It sounds as if this person either has poor social skills or just doesn’t want to drive you to these meetings. Try taking the two buses and train next time, and then pay attention to what he says/does when he sees you there. If he really wants to take you (and had just forgotten to offer), he should say, “Oh, how did you get here? I’m sorry, I meant to offer you a ride.” And then he should offer you a ride home.
If he says NOTHING and maybe even avoids you, it means he really doesn’t want to drive you to these meetings. Why? Who knows. People are funny.
Yes, it is a pain that you have to put up with an arduous commute while this guy has a car, but…..people are funny. And sometimes it’s easier to take two buses and a train then it is to deal with the awkwardness and uncertainty of dealing with them.
Working Girl says: Find someone else to ride with. Or…..get a good book to read on the bus/train. Or, if you can’t read on transport (WG can’t), nap or mentally compose haiku. Or just contemplate the wonders of the universe. Anything is better than wasting energy on Car Guy.
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She could consider offering Car Guy a small token of gas money for the rides – like maybe $5 per ride or something. It’s kind of silly since he is going there anyway every week, just like her but he may resent the fact that she has never offered any assistance with gas.