Are Women Wimps?
That’s the question raised by yesterday’s guest post.
In his fine article, Grant Cooper tells how, compared to male clients, his female clients are hesitant to tout their successes. Men feel free to embellish their resumes; women don’t. The question is: Is this truly a sign of low self-esteem or is it just a communication “style,” a way of being that men interpret as self-deprecation?
No one argues that when it comes to team-building and creating consensus, women are the masters. How do we do this? We put others at ease. And how do we put them at ease? We make them feel comfortable and safe. This often involves “stepping down” from what would otherwise be a position of superiority. We may know everything about a topic, we may have performed a certain procedure a thousand times, but we don’t flaunt it.
Heck, maybe we are so secure in ourselves we don’t need to flaunt it.
Is anyone buying this?
Because, surely, sometimes our low-keyedness is a sign of poor self-esteem. Sometimes function really does follow form. And sometimes we place being liked ahead of being right. And even if otherwise, it can be interpreted that way and THAT is when it comes back to bite us in the butt.
Which leaves us in flux. The wimmen’s libbers of the seventies did much to change the female role in society. (Working Girl is not THAT old but remembers a time when women had three viable career options: teacher, secretary, nurse.) Now it’s the next generation’s turn. We should be free to be self-effacing, if that’s our style (a style with benefits as well as drawbacks), just as we should be free to let fly with our latent testoserone reserves.
When you’re looking for a job, you want to be you. That’s all the rage nowadays, isn’t it, “authenticity”? Don’t be stupid about it, don’t leave achievements off your resume out of false modesty, but do be who you are. The world will catch up.
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