A cry for help from another Karen, this one in Canada:

I am sooooo lost.  Let me begin with telling you what my life is right now.  Maybe that will help with the soon to come advice.

I have a 1 year old.  I am currently a stay at home mom except for the few shifts I pick up here and there at my previous employer.  I was in school taking Production Art, when I found out I was pregnant.  Unfortunately I was unable to finish before I had my daughter, but I did go back to school when she was only 3 months old.  I graduated and found a job after 2 months of looking.  Then after 3 months of work in my new career, realized that I hated my job.  I began getting bad stomach ulcers and decided to quit and try to figure out what my “real” calling was.  But after being out of full time work now for 6 months and doing nothing but raising a child, I have completely lost any idea of what I want, who I am, and where I am going other than motherhood. 

I think I just need some help figuring out how to figure it all out.  Lol.

Dear Karen from Canada,

You’re in a time of great flux.  Having a baby and starting a new career are two big projects, and you tried to do them together!  So it’s not surprising that maybe it didn’t go as smoothly as you might have hoped.

And there’s nothing like having a baby to make you rethink your life.  What you are going through right now is perfectly normal.

So, okay, it’s re-evaluation time!  Why don’t you start by making some lists?  Lists are great.  You take all the thoughts/fears/worries that are whirling around in your head and put them in words.  Once they’re on paper they will feel more manageable, guaranteed.

First, sit down and list the reasons you got into Production Art in the first place.  What attracted you to it?

Second, list the ways in which it fell short.  What didn’t you like about it?

Once you have these two lists, decide which reasons are related to the specific work itself and which relate to lifestyle.  For example, a work reason might be you love creating art or you love working with Photoshop (assuming this is what you do in “Production Art”).  A lifestyle reason might be that you like being with creative types or that you appreciate not having to dress up every day.  Also, and this is important, list the reasons you didn’t like PA that were specific to your former job (like, your boss was a nut or the commute took two hours).

Study these lists.  Talk about them.  Show them to friends or, preferably, someone who can be a mentor to you.  (Don’t have a mentor?  Now is the time to find one!  Or two.  Or five.  Check out this post.  And this one.)

Basically, what you are trying to do is to identify work where you do stuff you love in an environment you love–i.e., your Dream Job.  This is a huge project!  You don’t always discover what your Dream Job is right off the bat.  Once you know what your Dream Job is, you don’t always attain it right away.  Most of the time we don’t, actually.  It takes time.  It takes trial and error.  Which is where you’re at right now. 

You don’t need to feel bad that you are still looking.  The important thing is that you are looking.  And that you keep on looking.  Come to think of it, here’s another post from not too long ago on this same topic.

Good luck.  You will find your way.  Meanwhile, give that one year old a big hug from Working Girl!

This entry was posted on Friday, November 14th, 2008 at 10:11 am and is filed under ask Working Girl, career advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.