Can You Try Too Hard?
SFGirl, ever looking for ways to do better, wonders if it’s possible to “try too hard.”
Dear Working Girl,
Should people ever stop trying to ask their boss to help them grow, learn ,and be better employees? I’ve asked my boss continually for opportunities to learn and my requests were denied. The excuse was it wasn’t fair to others in the office who don’t want to learn and just want to work their 8 hours.
I’d like to continue asking my boss about opportunities just to grow or let my boss know I don’t want a promotion or his job–just a chance to learn. (That tip came from a really nice person at a networking event. I remembered your tip about just going to those things and being genuinely interested in others. He notices when people just want jobs. He he.)
My boss knows I’m curious and eager to learn. I pop into his office before starting a project just to gauge how to be more efficient. I’ve brought in sales leads and such–another one last week! But if my boss has shown a pattern of denying requests to learn, is asking again pushing the envelope? Am I asking for trouble?
Dear SFGirl,
You are right to be sensitive to the way your ambition comes off to your boss. So often the message we think we are projecting is not the one being received.
Hmmm. It’s a bit odd that your boss’s reason for denying your requests (to attend seminars and/or classes, right?) is that it might make your co-workers feel bad. A simple “We don’t have the budget for it” would suffice and wouldn’t sound as if he thinks your ambition is somehow out of line.
But it’s never wise to read too much into things. It’s so hard to know what people are really thinking. And even if he DOES think your ambition is out of line, that is no reason to be unambitious. If it bothers him, it’s his problem.
However, it might be wise to cool it for a while. Maybe he’s intimidated–if not by you, then by something else. Bosses are subject to pressures from all sorts of sources. The reason he gave might not be the real reason.
Continue to do a good job and look for other ways to excel (see yesterday’s post). Keep in mind that it’s always better for your boss to see you as an ally and support rather than a source of stress.
Pick your “battles” with care. Don’t ask to be sent to every seminar or course that tickles your fancy. Wait a decent interval. Then when something really great comes up, approach him again.
And here’s a tip: Express the request in terms of how it would help him, not how it could help you. Try to show how the course would save the company time or money or supplies or hassle. A good “dollars and cents” argument can be devastatingly effective.
You’re doing great. You are ambitious and goal-oriented, so it’s probably hard to be patient. But sometimes patience is the answer. Hang in there!
SUBSCRIBE
As a manager, I found often that very good and ambitious people would sometimes simply push too hard, and in doing so, make their worthwhile ambition my problem. As WG indicated, it is a find line between the kind of ambition that makes a boss proud and supportive of an ambitious employee (associate) vs a bit aggravated because the ambitious employee has again made a tough day a little tougher by putting more demands on the boss’s time. I appreciated the ambitious employee who could communicate and foster his ambition without putting the action on my back, and that is really the key to success in this area.